Countdown...

Its a very strange feeling at my house...
only a wife of a military member can really understand.
Its a loneliness that cant be filled by anything but you significant other.
You wake every morning turn your over to hold them or tell them you love them but they are not around.
I can say that I am a strong woman, I do things most will not. It makes you have to turn to others for help, which for me being pretty independent already, is pretty hard and its hard to ask a neighbor to fix something for me, or watch my child when he is asleep and I just need to run to the store really quick. But I appreciate that I do that friends that will help if I ask.
This is my first time going threw a deployment as a single parent, and I must say, My heart goes out to those who do it day in and day out from day one. I dont know how u do it. I am having a hard time not being able to depend on my husband for the things that I have gotten used to him doing for me, like watching our son if I just need a moment to get a breather, or watching our son while I go coupon shopping so that I can do it faster, Giving baths while I do dishes so that we can relax together as a family.
You know in the beginning when they are first gone, and there is no communication yet, things run threw your head ( or did to mine) like Is this how it would be if he was gone forever? what if he was say in the army and died in battle? I couldnt even imagine the stress that those army, marine, and navy seal wifes go threw. I guess as wifes we have to just not think about the what if, we just start the count downs until we get to see each other again!
I am pretty Lucky that he is doing the job that he is doing.He is also in safe. I get an email from him at least once a day, and that email puts a smile on my face!
I love my husband is much, he is my best friend, my life is fulfilled with him & marek in it.
I cant wait to see him again.
Our countdown has begun at our house!